July 1st

I have looked forward to this day. Prepared for it for the last 6 years. And dreaded this day.

I have to say I was pretty useless on the floor. This is not to put myself down, but to remind myself that when I am in charge of the new intern: they are pretty much useless. They are especially useless if they had a baby in 4th year and it has been more than a year since any real clinical experience. I am still learning where everything is in the chart and in the computers. I am still getting access to everything.

I discharged a patient and dictated for the first time. I am not looking forward to reading that report later. It will require a "bit" of editing. The upper levels assure us it will get better.

As for my cute baby: he's great. He was sleeping on my husband's lap when I got home at 5:30. Now he is laughing and playing. I know he'll remind of the good in the world as this year goes by. He also reminds me that every patient of mine is someone's child.

But, I really only survived because others had my back today. I know it is going to be that way for awhile, but I am looking forward to when I can ride without needing the training wheels.